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ROBERT A. MELOS

Robert is the author of the novels Cool Mint Blue, Melba Ridge, and the recently released The Adventures of Homosexual Man and Lesbian Lad; and the creator of the on-line comix Impure Thoughts found at his web site Inside R.A. Melos, as well as having been an on-line staff writer for QBliss where he had a monthly humor column, Maybe A Yip, Maybe A Yap. In his non-writing time, when he's not studying the metaphysical or creating a tarot deck, he sells real estate in Middlesex County New Jersey, hangs out with his dog Zeus, and spends time at the Pride Center of New Jersey in Highland Park, NJ, where he is on the Board of Trustees.

contributor
member since 3.14.02
personal site: inside r. a. melos

COLUMNS

drag queen barbie
a doll pretending to be a drag queen pretending to, um, well
pop culture - lifestyle
9.4.12

my heart broke on valentine’s day
a lesson in living
general - lifestyle
1.26.12

our world is wrong
a plea to save the human race
news - improvement
10.27.11

gatorade goes great with vodka
and other things i learned at the health club
humor - lifestyle
1.28.11 : feature column!


where’s my bailout?
a prediction: victims of the economy will rise up
pop culture - lifestyle
11.18.10

psycho elf
a minimum wage holiday tale
humor - lifestyle
11.10.10 : feature column!


eat the rich
politics of the people
humor - criticism
10.29.10 : feature column!


saunacide
health club etiquette and other stuff
pop culture - lifestyle
12.23.09

why i'd never be a good parent
traumatizing children for the fun of it
humor - lifestyle
11.10.09

media blitzed
a rant
pop culture - lifestyle
8.13.09 : feature column!


stepping into the twilight zone
the science fictionalization of the american mind set
pop culture - criticism
8.8.09

what's love got to do with it
thoughts on a marriage of convenience
pop culture - lifestyle
7.15.09

the event horizon of foreclosure
life happens
pop culture - lifestyle
12.31.08 : feature column!


insults, american style
if the shoes fit….
pop culture - criticism
12.16.08

tmi
let’s not k.i.t.
pop culture - lifestyle
11.19.08

saving tara
material wealth v. spiritual wealth
writing - lifestyle
8.12.08

redefining normal
what was, is, and shall ever be
writing - lifestyle
3.8.08

the potential illusion
was, is, could be, or not
pop culture - lifestyle
1.24.08

real estate: the sellers
real estate basics 101
general - business
1.16.08

primary season! wabbit season? duck season?
politics will only become more complicated in the future
humor - lifestyle
1.9.08

coming to america
crossing the lines
general - improvement
12.10.07

twisted christmas
a holiday tale of sorts
humor - lifestyle
11.27.07

the effects of paris hilton on scientists
the rats still run the maze
pop culture - lifestyle
11.9.07

dazed and confused
science v. nature
pop culture - lifestyle
10.17.07

will work for food, fun or money
a resume of sorts
writing - career
10.1.07

i was wrong
breaking news
pop culture - lifestyle
9.22.07

at play in the fields of the realtors
the circle of a realtor’s life as the bubble bursts
pop culture - business
8.6.07 : feature column!


killer instinct
a noir interpretation
writing - lifestyle
6.25.07

off with her head!
a commentary on paris hilton
pop culture - lifestyle
6.10.07

the american wuss factor
buncha namby pamby pantywaist wusses
pop culture - criticism
5.8.07

for the world is shallow
and i have scraped the bottom
television - criticism
4.30.07

pearls before swine
silk purse, etc..
humor - discussion
4.27.07

the voices in my head
technology bites
pop culture - criticism
4.21.07

the shell game
winning is all how you look at it
general - lifestyle
4.7.07

you’ve got religion in my chocolate
my own personal chocolate jesus
pop culture - criticism
4.2.07

keeping it real in real estate
secrets from a real estate guru
humor - career
3.16.07 : feature column!


what i want to be when i grow up
learn me something new
humor - lifestyle
3.14.07

sure beats working for a living
just not applying myself
humor - lifestyle
3.1.07

outtakes
the script says i enter from the left
humor - lifestyle
2.8.07

and the mud begins to fly
an election must be at hand
pop culture - general
9.29.06 : feature column!


holy s&%$!
what if scientologists are right?
pop culture - criticism
9.16.06

scare tactics
is it election season already?
pop culture - lifestyle
9.6.06

infamy!
baby, remember my name!
pop culture - lifestyle
8.28.06

is this good or bad for mel gibson?
one way to make a silk purse out of a drunken sow
humor - criticism
8.16.06

making a terrorist friendly world
terrorism marketing 101
humor - lifestyle
7.29.06

a war by any other name
ww anyone?
pop culture - criticism
7.21.06

would you catch a falling star?
pop culture - lifestyle
7.4.06

post apocalyptic letdown
life after 6-06-06
humor - lifestyle
6.7.06

i have sinned
gimme something to believe in
pop culture - lifestyle
3.12.06

kenbie: the making of a mattel super couple?
champagne wishes and caviar dreams of a different kind
humor - lifestyle
2.17.06 : feature column!


gimme a ho
a yuletide tale
pop culture - lifestyle
12.16.05 : feature column!


let's attack aruba
aruba, jamaica, gee i wanna take ya
pop culture - criticism
11.18.05 : feature column!


a father, a son, a drink
american gothic redux chapter 17
writing - sample
9.16.05

lunatic fringe
crazy is as crazy says
pop culture - lifestyle
8.24.05

blog. blog. blog. what is blog?
today i shaved my balls
pop culture - lifestyle
8.17.05

american gothic redux: girl talk
chapter 16
writing - sample
8.16.05

the games people play
american gothic redux chapter 15
writing - sample
8.5.05

american gothic redux: hell is for children
chapter 14
writing - sample
7.20.05

is that all there is?
dreams of guns and ice cream
pop culture - lifestyle
7.13.05

where were you when you mind went snap?
ever wonder what someone is thinking?
humor - lifestyle
7.5.05

american gothic redux: family reunion
chapter 13
writing - sample
6.29.05

road rules: new jersey style
put the pedal to the metal
humor - lifestyle
6.10.05 : feature column!


good time bobby's got the blues
the ramblings of a man down on life
pop culture - lifestyle
6.6.05

point me in the direction of albuquerque
or other options to consider
news - discussion
5.3.05

you say you want a resolution?
dissolving the resolving
pop culture - lifestyle
1.14.05 : feature column!


seasonal music causing blue christmas for some
more ap news the way i wish it could be
writing - sample
12.14.04

when good girls go bad
ap news the way i wish it could be
writing - sample
12.8.04

is rome burning?
stop fiddling with morality
pop culture - criticism
11.21.04

united we stand
thoughts from a modern american revolutionary
pop culture - lifestyle
11.6.04

i’m thinking of auctioning off my mother on e-bay
when the parent/child roles reverse
humor - lifestyle
10.24.04

swift tongued patriot for truth
this one goes out to the gays*
pop culture - lifestyle
10.17.04

it’s in his kiss. or is it?
the elusive search for
pop culture - lifestyle
9.18.04

3:00 am
memories of the past, hope for the future
pop culture - lifestyle
9.12.04

brainwashed: a press release
the ultimate in ultimate game shows
humor - lifestyle
9.1.04

dear jim
breaking up is hard to do
humor - criticism
8.30.04

all god's children got lawyers
humor - lifestyle
7.2.04

downsizing love
a realistic low-carb look at how love should be
pop culture - lifestyle
5.31.04

the more things change
is it just me, or has everyone snapped a little?
pop culture - lifestyle
5.22.04

ode to a waitress
writing - sample
4.18.04

peace in our time
writing - sample
4.6.04

the effect of britney spears on household chores
music was a passion, but i was distracted by fashion
music - criticism
3.29.04

a marriage is a marriage is a marriage
etc...
pop culture - lifestyle
3.22.04 : feature column!


the world ends on thursday
maybe
writing - lifestyle
2.18.04

splitsville
first ben and jen, now barbie and ken
pop culture - lifestyle
2.12.04

r-e-s-p-e-c-t
a homosexual speaks up
news - general
1.24.04

american gothic redux: morning rituals
writing - sample
1.18.04

another blonde crying out for attention
why i hate britney spears
humor - criticism
1.7.04

get the flock outta here!
the media's affair with pat robertson should end
news - criticism
1.3.04

american gothic redux: attitudes
writing - sample
1.1.04

altered scents
bathroom humor
humor - general
12.18.03

is it over yet?
holiday memories in faded 8mm color
writing - lifestyle
11.29.03

the lady and the transvestite
american gothic redux
writing - sample
10.30.03

it's a zippity doo dah day!
the optimism monster ate my soul
humor - lifestyle
10.13.03

the bush war
a song parody
humor - lifestyle
10.1.03

american gothic redux: dead of night
writing - sample
9.24.03

american gothic redux: met a pieman
writing - sample
9.1.03

love is for losers
writing - sample
8.30.03

alternative medicine
humor - lifestyle
8.23.03

lunch
writing - sample
8.15.03

queer eye of a queer guy
advice is cheap
television - criticism
8.7.03

american gothic redux: grandfatherly advice
writing - sample
7.27.03

do what ya gotta do
a working man's blues
humor - lifestyle
7.25.03

american gothic redux: chuck and lola
writing - sample
7.21.03

american gothic redux: sunday dinner
writing - sample
7.13.03

the great american 4th of july
parades, fireworks, and good friends
humor - lifestyle
6.27.03

suburban summer
summer just outside of the city
general - lifestyle
6.26.03

to love and cherish
a gay man's thoughts on marriage
pop culture - lifestyle
6.24.03

american gothic redux: out of sorrow comes joy
writing - sample
6.22.03

american gothic redux: stairway to heaven
writing - sample
6.14.03

american gothic redux: selfish prayers
writing - sample
6.7.03

40 and toast
the laments of a burnt out soul
humor - lifestyle
5.24.03

you've got mail
viagra, hgh, enlarge your....
humor - lifestyle
5.7.03

when a politician speaks
the possible political undoing of a snert-weasel™*
news - sample
4.24.03

american gothic redux
the church bake sale
writing - sample
4.14.03

bitch slappin' the boss
writing - sample
3.29.03

war and remembrance
that was then, this is now, what about me?
humor - lifestyle
3.19.03

do you want fries with that?
let freedom fries ring
writing - sample
3.12.03

war talk
making a date with destiny
humor - lifestyle
3.7.03

put the blame on hussein*
a parody of a perennial favorite
humor - general
3.6.03

finding my conscience
what happened when i discovered greed isn't all it's cracked up to be?
general - lifestyle
2.18.03

war of the worlds? maybe.
peace is one possibility
pop culture - lifestyle
2.17.03

just not feeling the love today
got the rockin' pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu
humor - lifestyle
2.1.03

happy new year, already!
when the greetings have all been said....
humor - lifestyle
1.9.03

they shoot dreamers, don't they?
look at the past and see the future, perhaps?
pop culture - lifestyle
12.28.02

grinching
it's all in how you look at it
humor - lifestyle
12.18.02 : feature column!


i saw the light
i saw the party lights
humor - lifestyle
11.10.02

fuzzy wuzzy 1998-2002
a bear out of the woods
news - sample
11.4.02

conversation with a soul snatcher on a subway
a halloween tale of horror, depending on what you find horrifying
writing - sample
10.27.02

s-a-t-u-r-d-a-y night
what ever happened to it?
general - lifestyle
10.26.02

full circle
pop culture - lifestyle
10.19.02

what i stand for
when i'm not sitting
humor - lifestyle
10.7.02

a disturbing thought
the story of one little thought, and the trouble he caused
humor - lifestyle
10.5.02

pet therapy
woof! woof, woof!
humor - lifestyle
10.1.02

all by myself, sort of
what price contentment?
general - lifestyle
9.22.02

full moon and blue jeans
maybe it was moon madness
humor - lifestyle
9.12.02

happy, happy birthday baby
humor - lifestyle
8.19.02

suicidal tendencies
that's what brothers are for
writing - sample
8.14.02

bobby the realtor slayer
there's a fine line between reality, sanity, and real estate
humor - lifestyle
8.14.02

martha stewart for president
it's a good thing
humor - lifestyle
8.10.02

authority rocks
politics for the mtv generation
pop culture - lifestyle
7.21.02

unfunny!
humor - lifestyle
7.13.02

can suzanne somers be far behind?
that's what friends are for
pop culture - general
7.1.02

instinctual behavior
man smart, dog smarter
pop culture - lifestyle
5.29.02

soul mate divorce
taking marriage and divorce to a whole new level
pop culture - lifestyle
4.16.02

yeah. so?
a commentary on rudeness in america
humor - lifestyle
4.4.02

rethinking old patterns
general - lifestyle
3.24.02

hate
a gay opinion
general - lifestyle
3.14.02









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