It was almost exactly two years ago when I discovered I was going to be a father. My level of ignorance on the topic had me pretty nervous, but the nerves are natural. And kind of pointless. Because what I’ve learned after my first full year as a dad is that the key to being a good father is simply this: don't be an asshole.
Seriously. If you're already not an asshole, you can skip the rest of this (long) column because that's all there is to it. Congratulations! Go forth and multiply.
However, I was an asshole. And I didn't have much guidance when I became a dad. So I offer the following nine-item list (one for each month of pregnancy!) to all the assholes like me who need advice on getting through the nine or so months preceding the birth of the person who will most likely be your end (Oedipus!).
The Asshole’s Worry-Free Guide to Impending Fatherhood
1 – Survival (Baby) You’re not going to break your baby. Kids ...
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MOST RECENT COLUMNS
superbland?
we don't need some other hero
4.6.11
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quality control
parental guidance is required
1.12.11
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re:superbland? Spot-on. And it's possible for Superman to have a sense of humor. Look at the Superfriends.
re:bleat the parents Mike, I just have to give you a big AMEN for this!! I agree with you so much that I have made it my life's work to make a little dent in the guilt, judgment and shame game of parenting!
re:bleat the parents Late to reading this, but enjoyed it tremendously.
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PROFILE
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