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FEATURED COLUMNS

the empire of you
and the shared soul of intrepid media
by joe procopio (@jproco)
topic: general
2.1.06 • CLASSIC

I'm going to get a little self-aggrandizing here, so stay with me. There's a prize for you at the end, maybe something filled with rich, creamy nougat, maybe not. That's the risk you take. My life, day in and day out, revolves around perpetually building the media empire that is me. Right at this very moment, I have the following five projects under various stages of development: 1) The completion and release of my novel, bulletproof - a deranged cross between microserfs, Syrup, and High Fide

read on



holly hobby (tried to rob me. silly stunt...)
now that i have the free time, what am i going to do?
by adam kraemer (@DryWryBred)
topic: humor
9.12.08 • CLASSIC

By the time this is published, my employers will know I have accepted a new job. Or, this is the most original letter of resignation ever. Regardless, the new position is likely to allow me more time in my weekly schedule, especially on weekday nights. Which means I may actually be able to do something in my free time. Because, for the first time in three years, I actually have free time. I'll be able to read those books I wrote about at the beginning of the summer that I haven't actually got

read on



thankful, part two
and the list continues
by tracey l. kelley (@TraceyLKelley)
topic: general
11.29.06 • CLASSIC

I’m thankful to those who hold the hug a little longer than I do. I’m thankful the condition wasn’t as serious as it could have been. I’m thankful I was once a corn detassler, a house cleaner and a breakfast waitress, because now I truly appreciate what working hard really is. Some support families with these jobs. I’m thankful to the entire crew at Pixar for making me laugh like a child every time. I’m thankful that the “hand” of friends is now two hands and possibly three toes. I’m th

read on



jason point
the ups and downs of creating an amusement park in your front yard
by jason gilmore (@JasonGilmore77)
topic: humor
9.14.09 • CLASSIC

As a child, I adored Cedar Point, our local amusement park, and eagerly awaited my trip there each summer. I could think of no better place in the world. On the way there, I aggravated my parents the entire hour-long drive from Toledo to Sandusky. “Are we there yet?” I asked, every ten seconds. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” Once inside the park, I floated, transfixed by its exhilarating rides and kaleidoscopic arcades, by the soft cotton candy that warmed in my mouth on the way to t

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the van smells like a**!
self-promoted touring. rocko dorsey, spring 2009 (part ii)
by jeffrey d. walker
topic: music
4.15.09 • CLASSIC

Last month, I brought you a shameless self-promotional piece about my band going on tour. Despite hope, I'm not following up with a piece about getting signed. And despite popular demand, I'm not following up with my tales of debauchery. The antics, the nonsense, the essence of the rock and roll experience, I'm not giving away those stories away for free. If you're interested in buying the rights to the Jeff Walker and /or the Rocko Dorsey biography, please have your people call my people. I

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my eyes are bigger than my stomach
taking on more than you can handle
by maigen thomas (@Maigen)
topic: general
2.23.09 • CLASSIC

What happens when you have so much on your proverbial plate that you literally don't know where to start or what to do? Or you're scared of taking that first 'bite' because you might not like it? Or it turns out to not be what you wanted? Or you're so locked into analyzing what might be or could be or should be you completely fail to take action at all? I am staring at this plate of mine, and it looks huge. Daunting. I am not so much holding onto my fork as I am grasping for a handhold in

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the good, the bling, and the ugly
gawking at the real housewives of atlanta
by alex b (@Lexistential)
topic: television
11.14.08 • CLASSIC

At this precise moment in time, I'm bitter. I'm annoyed that I'm not black, married to a celebrity athlete, divorcing a celebrity athlete, or just plain subsidized by some anonymous figure who calls himself Big Poppa. I'm likewise pissed off that I don't have a lifestyle that involves a 15,000-square foot house, a thousand pairs of designer shoes, or the ability to mooch a $68,000 gas-guzzling Cadillac Escalade that could hog a lane and a half. And, I would love to have a big fat box full of Chr

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RECENT COMMENTS

re: irrussistible
I am not going to read it this time. I do and I just cannot pull myself together to comment. It is a beautiful tribute. I am very glad that you wro...

re: guns don't kill people....
Can we please find a way to heal and protect? I NEWTOWN, Conn. (AP) — A man opened fire Friday inside two classrooms at the Connecticut elementary sc...

re: a year without netflix
I would expect that and especially Netflix. Marketing, baby. They're spending zillions to get new subscribers....

re: everybody poops
What a bunch of crap! :-D Sorry. I tried to let it pass. Butt I'm weak. [edited]...

re: you are on your own heroes journey
Too short. Sigh. Thanks Maigen. I just miss him. I am glad that I can find people who cared deeply for him here. He had such good friends here!...





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The Gallery is where anyone can publish a column. The best run as Features.

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