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FEATURED COLUMNS

wait! don't next me girl
why chatroulette is the most awesome thing that will never work
by joe procopio (@jproco)
topic: pop culture
6.1.12 • CLASSIC

If you're looking for one of the most ingenious uses for the Interwebs that's come along in the last three years, look no further than Chatroulette (Caution: do not go look at Chatroulette). This video chat service that allows users to spin a virtual wheel and connect with a random stranger anywhere in the world with the ability to instantly spin said wheel again to leave them behind should, theoretically, be a fascinating way to connect, learn, and discover new people, places, and cultures.

But if you're looking for a rock-solid definition of the lowest common denominator of our one-world society, or more specifically, if you're looking for an endless stream of random male junk, and who isn't, then Chatroulette is exactly what you're looking for.

Oh, by the way, this column is not for the kids. Kids, stop reading. Go read Seanbaby. Sorry to be so late with the warning.

read on



channeling the cooking channel
a new network of old favorites
by jael mchenry (@JaelMcHenry)
topic: television
7.5.10 • CLASSIC

When I heard that Food Network was spinning off a new sister network called the Cooking Channel, I was pretty thrilled. Cooking! Isn’t that the missing ingredient, if you will, in the Food Network’s recipe these days? Once jam-packed with how-to instruction, the network now gives over its prime time hours mostly to competition shows, ranging from the reasonably entertaining (Iron Chef) to the absurdly specific (who can make the best cake featuring a Disney princess playing water polo and/or crib

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not married, without children
even adam thinks he might be abel to raise a little cain
by adam kraemer (@DryWryBred)
topic: general
1.8.10 • CLASSIC

I've spent a large portion of the last week watching movies. Most recently (ten minutes before writing this), I viewed for a second time a 1996 movie called Bullet, which centers around an exceptionally dysfunctional Brooklyn Jewish family. In the title role, Mickey Rourke (about halfway between his transformation from "attractive guy in Diner" to "weird looking guy in The Wrestler") is a heroin junkie and petty thief. A 23-year-old Adrien Brody is a slacker artist who paints on anything but an

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glee
the worst show you can't stop watching
by michelle von euw
topic: music
10.11.10 • CLASSIC

Despite what the Emmy voters and popular press may tell you, Glee is not a good television show. I know; I’ve watched every episode. I am a connoisseur of TV. I appreciate and celebrate television shows as an art form. I champion the creativity and the intellect it takes to achieve a good series. I will talk to you about the brilliance of The Wire and Everwood; I will describe in great detail the perfect arcs of season one Veronica Mars and season two Buffy the Vampire Slayer; I will tell y

read on



dagwoodn't
working eating on the chain gang
by mike julianelle
topic: humor
10.23.09 • CLASSIC

It’s a special joy, really, the feeling you get when you set out to make a good sandwich. Relishing every step of the process in anticipation of the final meal, you confidently open the fridge and pluck out each particular ingredient - some bread, a condiment, the meat, cheese, a tomato, maybe some more exotic accoutrement like a roasted red pepper or slice of avocado, depending on your taste – and lay them out on the counter, slowly piling them atop one another like a gifted architect at work

read on



writing in polka dots and plaid
taking inspiration from project runway
by tracey l. kelley (@TraceyLKelley)
topic: television
10.27.10 • CLASSIC

NOTE: If you have not watched any of "Project Runway" Season 8, know this column contains spoilers. Come back and read it after you've watched the finale! I totally suck at sewing. Oh sure, I can reattach a button and quick stitch a small tear. But that is, quite simply, the range of my needle and thread abilities. I don't know how to work a sewing machine. I don't crochet. I don't knit. It's embarrassing to admit how many pieces of clothing I've given to my mother-in-law for repair. My siste

read on



an interview with jaimyon parker
renaissance performer tackles faith, friendship, typecasting
by jason gilmore (@JasonGilmore77)
topic: film
3.14.11 • CLASSIC

Jaimyon Parker is a Houston-raised, Los Angeles-based actor who also produced, wrote and co-stars in Iris, which recently wrapped a successful four-week run at the Complex Theatre in Hollywood. Iris is a powerful, memorable tale of the damaged title character (played pitch perfectly by Lauren Elliott) who is taken through a review of the missteps of her troubled life by a sarcastic but potent demon named Bastiel (Parker). Over the next 90 minutes, abortion, drug abuse, incest, sisterhood and fai

read on



facing a bump
vouchers offered by continental airlines are the real deal
by jeffrey d. walker
topic: general
1.18.12 • CLASSIC

It’s one of those things that you fear when traveling by airplane. You’re headed through the terminal to your gate, and you’re looking at the screens. Departures… departures… check flight number…

On time is what it said when we got to Cleveland on December 28th, headed back from Christmas with my in-laws, me, my wife, and our 8 month old. And then...

”Ladies and Gentlemen waiting for service to Ithaca…”

The plane we were supposed to fly on was… I don’t know exactly. Not available; crashed; on fire; filled with snakes. I don’t know – the staff always seems to say things to try to keep you calm, like that you’ll be moving in “about half an hour” [See "30 Rock", Season 5, Episode 14: "Double-Edged Sword"]. The problem was that the plane they were going to replace our original plane with had 11 fewer seats, and that they were “looking” for 11 people to volunteer to take another flight since the first was full.

It was snowing. No one was volunteering. Worse, we had not been seated together as a family on the original flight, and Linus and my wife were seated in an “exit row”, where they could not be since he's and infant. All in all, the situation made me nervous.

read on



around the world in 80 dishes
part one
by maigen thomas (@Maigen)
topic: pop culture
6.26.09 • CLASSIC

"So, you spend all your downtime reading?" The captain asked. I thought for a moment. "I wouldn't say ALL of it, no." I had just passed a novel to another flight attendant on the crew van taking us to the airport after a thirteen hour layover in Vegas, and her surprised reaction was "You just bought this yesterday! You're finished already?" I read fast. And this book wasn't exactly a chore to get through. I read it in less than a day, yes, and retained most of it (which wasn't terribly i

read on



as long as it isn't babysitting
deciphering a surprise attraction for the younger guy
by alex b (@Lexistential)
topic: humor
8.16.11 • CLASSIC

This past month, I turned 36.

Though my age change isn't earth-shattering news, it feels significant to me because when the date fell, I swore to appreciate myself and not feel too self-critical. I didn't go around putting myself down with dynamite-fishing-for-compliment wails of, "I'm old!" Instead of throwing a John McEnroe-like meltdown at my local CVS, I simply decided to embrace my progression into the latter half of my thirties with, "I'm getting older."

Surely, by owning my age with that statement, I wouldn't have any reason to feel awkward. I decided to use that as my daily mantra a couple weeks ago; at the time, it made perfect sense.

In line with my general strategy of greeting life more proactively, I've decided to make some new friends. While meeting and greeting, I came across someone whose sharp, scrappy personality mirrored mine and completely threw off my generally-accurate age radar. As I laughed at his jokes and exchanged quips, I predicted his age to be on the younger side of 30, and no younger than 27.

Then, he told me he hadn't turned 23 yet.

And now, I feel old.

read on



loving
a part of our speech
by sarah ficke (@DameMystery)
topic: news
4.16.12 • CLASSIC

Loving: Noun
Loving begins as a noun, but not just any noun. Loving is a personal noun; it is something we experience only through the prism of ourselves. We can’t point to the source of love, diagram its location, or dissect it from our body, and yet it is there. Loving is also a noun in the stricter sense: Richard Loving, a white man born in Caroline County, Virginia, in 1933.

Loving: Verb
Loving may begin as a noun, but we know it best as a verb. We recognize love only because we see it in action: caring, sharing, laughing, kissing, touching, soothing, healing, helping, grieving. These actions can shape our lives, yet we can’t trace them to a source. Love – of nature, of creatures, of music – is a mystery in the abstract, but vibrant in reality. Something happens in your spirit, your physical heart might thump, your nerves might jitter, and suddenly that potential for love comes out into the open. That kind of spark caught Richard Loving (noun: white) and Mildred Jeter (noun: black) and whirled them into action. They were loving each other, and – as it always does – that love was shaping their lives.

read on



how to be on the internet
your guide to not being a total douchebag
by erik lars myers (@TopFermented)
topic: writing
4.17.09 • CLASSIC

You are a creator. You spend time organizing the inner workings of your mind into detailed output for the consumption and enjoyment of others. In your dreams of success, your work is out in the world for everybody to see and appreciate. Your name is on everybody's lips and pounded out on everyone's keyboard. Harsh reality: Your work will be criticized; some people will not like it. It's a fact of life. Even the most successful people have detractors. Sometimes, they are people with leg

read on



longhair tv
by jeff miller (@jmillerboston)
topic: pop culture
2.24.10 • CLASSIC

My hair used to be REALLY long. Cliff Burton long. Conan the Barbarian long. Born-in-the70's-hit-puberty-in-the-80's long. There was nothing ironic or unusual about this. In my day - and at a burly 38, I feel entitled to an occasional in my day - if you were a young man who knew how to rock and roll all night and party every day, this was barely a choice at all. Growing your hair was as much a conscious decision as wearing jeans or eating fast food. It wasn't a question of should I grow it out

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RECENT COMMENTS

re: irrussistible
I am not going to read it this time. I do and I just cannot pull myself together to comment. It is a beautiful tribute. I am very glad that you wro...

re: guns don't kill people....
Can we please find a way to heal and protect? I NEWTOWN, Conn. (AP) — A man opened fire Friday inside two classrooms at the Connecticut elementary sc...

re: a year without netflix
I would expect that and especially Netflix. Marketing, baby. They're spending zillions to get new subscribers....

re: everybody poops
What a bunch of crap! :-D Sorry. I tried to let it pass. Butt I'm weak. [edited]...

re: you are on your own heroes journey
Too short. Sigh. Thanks Maigen. I just miss him. I am glad that I can find people who cared deeply for him here. He had such good friends here!...





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