I was going to do something really, really funny for this column, the kickoff to Intrepid Media's Month-Long 3rd Anniversary Shenanigans. Trust me when I say that it would have been hysterical. Most of you would have been reeling with laughter, paralyzed with wit, and some of you even disemployed for your reaction to my words (the column revolved around a concept I call "seditious nudity" and it closed with a pretty strong call to arms - I'll let you piece the visuals together).
Instead, the more I thought about what's going on this month, and for that matter, what's been going on for the last three years, the more I figured I had better just cool my jets and explain it all.
But first, I have to preface by acknowledging you, the very reader reading this very column. This is mandatory, not only in the "let's-not-be-an-asshole-on-our-anniversary" sense, but also in a very real, almost business-like sense. This site doesn't work without you. I recognize that. So, rather than get all Ron Howard, I'll just say that I'd rather gouge my own eyeballs out with a shrimp fork than offend or alienate any of you.
That's as touchy-feely as I'm going to get this month.
Seriously though. There's a reason why I slap the words "thanks for playing along" at the end of every piece of mail that officially comes out of here. I know you all have better things to do with your time. And I still get all misty when you send me emails when we do something right.
Let's start with the last three years. The fact that Intrepid Media, basically a content site without funding, superstar names, affiliation with a known powerhouse, or any sort of "we'll make you famous/rich/popular/attractive" shpeil, has survived longer than, well, most any content site, a bunch of magazines, the vast majority of television shows, quite a few bands, and even the average Twinkie, says something about what we're doing.
But what that is, I couldn't even begin to tell you.
So yeah, let's throw that in there too. Hooray. We rock like... I don't know. I like Huey Lewis. I think he's underrated. Much like us. So there you go.
I'll level with you. Most of the time I can't even explain what we're trying to accomplish, let alone eloquently detail the secrets of my success for various members of the press. I tend to make a lot of it up as I go along, and that seems to placate most people. But then they start talking about business plans and gaining traction and striking while the iron is hot and my eyes glaze over and I think about getting drunk.
I'm drunk now. I'm writing a column. There's the big secret.
Now, let's talk about the next month. To celebrate not going broke or getting stupid for three years, we're going to spend the entirety of September going broke and getting stupid. Each of September's feature columns will highlight what Intrepid Media has meant to each of our (fantastic/dynamic/underpaid) staff writers. You'll get an insightful, frank and, most importantly, entertaining look at Intrepid through the eyes of those people who truly make it what it is.
We're also throwing a party. A big party. A very, very cool party. On September 14th, a Saturday, in our hometown of Chapel Hill, Intrepid writers, contributors, and readers from all over the world will be gathering to talk, drink, and bond. W.B. Yeats Pub has been kind enough to host it, and the kids have been even kinder in forking over travel money to get themselves here. And let me tell you this, if I can bang out a couple more pages on seditious nudity, you know, make it compelling enough to kick off the movement, then it will be a photo-op like no other, to say the very least.
At publish time: Jael, Adam, Michelle, Michael, Walker, Jack (from Sydney!), Roger, Matt plus at least a dozen contributors - from New York to San Francisco and everywhere inbetween. Press releases have been sent, VIPs have been invited, flyers are going up.
All we need now is you.
Yeah. We expect you there. If you've ever read, written for, loved, or hated this little experiemnt of ours, and if you have the means and the time to get to Yeats Pub (306 W. Franklin Street) in Chapel Hill at 9:00 p.m. on Saturday September 14th, then we'd love to see you.
Walk right up and say hello.
Because after all the posturing and writing and editing and publsihing and programming and steering and decision-making, it would just plain be an honor to thank you, in person, for playing along.
Joe Procopio trades in pop culture and tech culture, allowing him to poke fun at so many things. He's written for a number of online and offline publications from the late, lamented Smug to the fancy-pants Chicago Tribune and also for television. He's a novelist, a shredder, a joker, and a family man. Scoff at joeprocopio.com or follow on Twitter @jproco.
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IF YOU LIKED THIS COLUMN...
9.1.02 @ 1:30p
Perfect. Intoxicating. Exotic. Warm. Joe, I may drive over tonight and give you a big hug. And there is no need to define what it is we do here (except when the media asks "what is it exactly you're trying to do there").
9.3.02 @ 9:34a
Shrimp fork. Ow.
9.3.02 @ 9:51a
9.3.02 @ 10:16a
Eyeless Joe? Didn't he play for the Sox?
9.3.02 @ 10:38a
No, you're thinking of Tony Conigliaro.
9.3.02 @ 11:02a
I think I meant crab-leg fork. Is there such a thing? Either way I'd hurt myself real bad, that's my point.
9.3.02 @ 11:09a
But there is such a thing as a shrimp fork. They are small with two pointy tines. Definitely sharp enough to do some damage.
9.3.02 @ 11:35a
I don't know, an eye-patch can really make you look classy. Required accessory for the neighborhood cad and/or rake.
9.3.02 @ 11:39a
I think the crab-leg fork (also used for lobster) has three same-sized tines, while the shrimp fork has one especially wide one.
9.3.02 @ 12:18p
Could be. I think I got shrimp forks confused with snail forks, which do have two tines.
9.3.02 @ 1:06p
Well, I'm excited. It will be a fabulous time. And I know of a lot of other people (contributers, etc) who agree. Thanks for hosting it and bringing so many kick-ass people together, Joe.
9.3.02 @ 3:20p
Of course the real draw is that everyone gets to see/meet me.
9.3.02 @ 3:21p
I've met you. It sucked.
9.3.02 @ 3:34p
Yeah, I've met Adam like, several hundred times. I think I win.
I've only met Mike two times, I think, but since he's Satan, each one was like an eternity in the flames of Hell. In a good way.
9.3.02 @ 3:49p
Aww, that's sweet.
9.3.02 @ 4:01p
I think it'll be very interesting when we all meet. Intrepid Media REVEALED!
9.3.02 @ 4:09p
Tell-all book and swimsuit calender to follow.
9.3.02 @ 4:37p
We do have a very, very attractive staff.
9.3.02 @ 7:33p
Aww, that's sweet.
9.3.02 @ 9:06p
Matt, the "Ahem" was for you.
9.4.02 @ 11:05a
Happy belated birthday Intrepid!!! We both just blew our candles. i turned 18 on Aug. 31st. we should have a party to celebrate our b-days...(sure, buddy..)
9.7.02 @ 2:26a
I used a crab fork two nights ago; it had two tines. Just sayin'.
This site blows. Candles. Really.
9.7.02 @ 10:19a
HA! Thanks for reminding me Russ.
Legal Disclaimer: Although Intrepid Media wishes not to suck, the founder reserves the right not to incur bodily harm over anyone's and/or everone's hurt feelings. Actual shrimp-eye forking may vary and is not valid in the contiguous United States. Intrepid Media may cause sleeplessness, irritability, fits of crying, and halitosis.
9.10.02 @ 10:42a
9.10.02 @ 1:13p
Correct me if I'm wrong, but there's a big difference between "blowing candles" and "blowing out candles," right?
9.10.02 @ 1:14p
I'm with you. Big difference.