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happy, happy birthday baby
by robert a. melos

My Friends and fellow Americans. Today, August 19th, is a day for celebration. Yes friends, I say a day for celebration, because it is the birthday of a man who has done more for the American male image, be it heterosexual or homosexual, than most men do in two or three lifetimes. If it weren't for this man sex would still be something we only talk about in quite little groups, usually in back rooms or on street corners.

This man, ahead of his time in many ways, brought oral sex out from under the desk and into the light of the oval office where it belongs. I give you the birthday of former President of the United States, William Jefferson Clinton.

You may imagine Hail To The Chief playing in the background as you read this.

Until that infamous day when Bill Clinton engaged in what some would call un-presidential like conduct, the previous sexual revolution of the 1960s was but a flaccid memory in the minds of many an American male. Sex had taken, as it often does, the low road of sexually transmitted diseases and was regulated to discussions in dark alleys and pool halls, and boys high school locker rooms.

It wasn't until Bill Clinton unfurled his flag, so to speak, and waved it patriotically before a White House Intern young enough to be his daughter, did the new sexual revolution begin.

Oh sure, envious men like Jerry Falwell condemned Billy Boy, but condemnation was not enough to drive the new sexual freedom back into the sorted dark rooms and congressional coat closets where it once resided. Sex was out, and public, and fun. It wasn't your father's sex anymore. Well maybe it was, but you didn't want to think too long about it in those terms.

It seemed everyone in the world had sex on the brain. And, for a time, you couldn't go anywhere or look at anything, but you would see some reminder of the fact Bill Clinton had engaged in something of which many men fantasize.

Alas, those carefree days of sexual misconduct are but a waning memory. The world has taken another spin, and much more serious matters are occupying the minds of citizens the world over.

So I say to everyone, take a moment today and, in whatever way you choose, give a salute to a man who gave us something other than tragedy to ponder, and remember back to a time when life was fun.

Happy Birthday Bill!


Robert is the author of the novels Cool Mint Blue, Melba Ridge, and the recently released The Adventures of Homosexual Man and Lesbian Lad; and the creator of the on-line comix Impure Thoughts found at his web site Inside R.A. Melos, as well as having been an on-line staff writer for QBliss where he had a monthly humor column, Maybe A Yip, Maybe A Yap. In his non-writing time, when he's not studying the metaphysical or creating a tarot deck, he sells real estate in Middlesex County New Jersey, hangs out with his dog Zeus, and spends time at the Pride Center of New Jersey in Highland Park, NJ, where he is on the Board of Trustees.

more about robert a. melos


altered scents
bathroom humor
by robert a. melos
topic: humor
published: 12.18.03

happy new year, already!
when the greetings have all been said....
by robert a. melos
topic: humor
published: 1.9.03


erik myers
8.19.02 @ 9:59a

You know? It's funny. I wasn't shocked or offended about Billy Boy's little penis wagging until it really got carried away by the media.

One news report? Fine. A few? Sure. 3 months of it? 6 months of it? Come on, now. If I really wanted to hear constantly about a fat guy sticking his dick into a fat chick I would have bought a porn and stuck it on loop, thank you. At least there might have been some substance to it.

adam kraemer
8.19.02 @ 11:18a

Yeah, but the Oval Office backdrop adds a little class to the proceedings.


jeffrey walker
9.1.02 @ 5:05p

Bill Clinton: the most useless president since Carter. 8 years, and what did he actually accomplish? Getting his knob slobbed. Is that all he could think of to do with all that power?

"I feel your pain." That's nice; you never did a god-damned thing to help any of us.

P.S. - thanks for not taking Bin Laden when you had the chance, Billy! He was yours for the taking, but you declined. Busy getting a hummer?

If he was really going to make oral sex more acceptable in America, he'd have said, "You're damn right it happened. I let her blow me while I was on the phone. I don't know why more people aren't getting these things; blowjobs rock!"

I know a girl who's married and WON'T give head, no matter what. I don't know why the husband hasn't left that bitch.


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