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ten lines about two lines
party's over!
by russ carr (@DocOrlando70)

If two lines are displayed
be very afraid

If two lines are shown
your mind will be blown

If two lines appear
parenthood's near

If two lines represent
yo, you're a parent

If two lines you see
then baby makes three


If the media is the eye on the world, Russ Carr is the finger in that eye. Tune in each month to see him dispersing the smoke and smashing the mirrors of modern mass communication. The world lost Russ on 2/7/12, but he lives on.

more about russ carr


columnus interruptus
hey, russ, ya got a minute?
by russ carr
topic: writing
published: 7.23.08

this one time, at story camp
all my compliments and cutting remarks
by russ carr
topic: writing
published: 7.25.05


mike julianelle
3.28.02 @ 12:01p

Are congratulations in order, Russ?

russ carr
3.28.02 @ 12:07p

disorder, actually. disarray, disbelief, and disimpending feeling of doom dat won't disappear.

mike julianelle
3.28.02 @ 12:12p

Well, consider them offered then. Or, in the words of The Gin Blossoms (no, I'm not a fan): Congratulations, I'm sorry.

matt morin
3.28.02 @ 12:21p

So? Are you getting the Eurowagon now?

joe procopio
3.28.02 @ 12:24p

Whoa! Rock on, Russ!

michelle von euw
3.28.02 @ 12:52p


First AIDS, now parenthood. We're a busy website.

russ carr
3.28.02 @ 12:56p

Unlike Matt, I am not making this up. Rest assured, I will be taking lots of pills to cope with it.

jael mchenry
3.28.02 @ 1:14p

Reprazent, yo.

Lots of pills? Are we talking about Allegra's column again?

heather millen
3.28.02 @ 1:19p

Stock up! And congrats.

roger striffler
3.28.02 @ 4:00p

Hey Russ- that's Great! (in a "better you than me" kind of way). Take advantage of having a designated driver for the next 6 months.

Seriously though, congrats!

[edited because Roger is an idiot]


mike julianelle
3.28.02 @ 4:12p

Color me confused!

russ carr
3.28.02 @ 4:25p

Whatever you did, Mike -- apparently you get to drink like a madman for 6 months. My hat's off to you.

mike julianelle
3.28.02 @ 4:53p

Thanks! It's a wonderful reward for an unknown job well done! This moment is so much bigger than me. This is for all my brothers for whom I've opened a door that has been closed for 74 years! Thank you!!! WAH GAH WOO!!!

tracey kelley
3.28.02 @ 5:06p

I did it on the boards too, man, but Hey! Cogratulations!

Au pairs for everyone!

russ carr
3.28.02 @ 5:12p

au pair?!

YES!!! Ingenues of Europe -- come to me!

adam kraemer
3.28.02 @ 6:29p

With my luck, I'd get the Phantom of the Au Pair.

sarah ficke
3.28.02 @ 11:19p

Can I get a houseboy instead?

jael mchenry
3.29.02 @ 9:14a

Ooh, if Sarah gets a houseboy, I want a poolboy.

Anyone remember MadTV circa 1997, Cabana Chat: "Dance, Poolboy, dance!"

russ carr
3.29.02 @ 10:28a

I'm amazed. I figured Jack would be the first one to clamor for a cabana boy.

roger striffler
3.30.02 @ 12:47p

You say that as if Jack doesn't already have a cabana boy...

jack bradley
3.30.02 @ 7:40p

I'd have to have a cabana, first.

juli mccarthy
4.1.02 @ 12:35a

I have a cabana! Anybody wanna be my boy?

Oh... and Russ? Great job! Congrats to the winning wiggler. Your life as you know it is now over. (And I mean that in the BEST way!)

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