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the dream
by k. t.

I’m tossing and turning in my sleep, trying to wake up because I keep hearing my daughter’s voice. I can’t wake up. Please … let … this … nightmare … end.

“Mom, I’ve been trying to get your attention for several nights now. Please don’t be afraid. This is a good dream.”

“No, Liz, it can’t be you. You’re gone. We had your funeral,” I mumble from that place between sleep and wakefulness. Can’t open my eyes. Feeling heavy again. Falling into this deep, disturbing sleep.

“Mom, it IS me. Don’t be frightened. You and Dad have had such a hard time accepting my death that I knew I had to talk to one of you to try to ease your pain and help you understand what happened to me that day. I’m going to show you that my death was not as horrible as the pictures you saw on television and that what followed was so loving, so peaceful, so incredibly moving that you’ll never view death the same way again.

It’s been five weeks since our office building collapsed into a mountain of twisted steel, shattered glass, and powdered concrete. Five weeks today. Mom, so much has happened here since then. You need to know what’s really going on. You need to understand what’s behind all the tragedy and death and loss. What I’m going to show you will help you let go of your pain and go forward with renewed purpose. Believe it or not, everything that happened on September 11 was for the good of all mankind and the earth.

I want you to know that I’m okay, Mom. I’m not in pain or suffering. I can see you and Dad, and I know what you’ve been going through since I left. Please believe me, Mom, where I am now is a place of unparalleled beauty and light. I am surrounded by love and knowledge and understanding. Granny is here with me and so is Great Grandpa. They were waiting for me, Mom. And all the other people who died with me that day had relatives or angels waiting for them, too. We saw the people who gave their lives in Pennsylvania and at the Pentagon. Every single one of us was received in overwhelming, comforting love."

I know this dream is different than any I’ve had before, and I know this in the dream, but still I can’t wake myself up to end it.

"This must be kind of weird for you Mom, but you have to know that everything I’m telling you is true. Life didn’t end when the glowing-hot, steel girder fell on me and burned and crushed me. It happened so quickly I never felt any pain. It was like that for most of the others. Only a very few really lingered in pain trying to hold on to life, but even they quickly realized it was best to just let go and move into the light and the love.

Life here is more real than anything in my human experience. What I understand now, Mom, is the only REAL part of human experience is love. Yours and Dad’s love for me is with me now. And my love for you is with you now, just let yourself feel it and you’ll know it’s true."

How strange … I know this is a dream, but I feel Lizzie’s love surrounding me.

"That’s right, Mom, my love IS surrounding you. That’s what we feel all the time in this beautiful place. I want you to remember this any time you feel sad about losing me. Oh, and that’s another thing I need to tell you. You really haven’t lost me. It took me a while after I died to understand this part of it, but this place of light and love coexists with the beautiful planet earth and all her inhabitants! I can see you or Dad anytime I want to just by thinking about you. It’s as if we are moving in the same space at the same time, only on different levels. Of course, the real difference is that you live at a much slower vibration of life on earth than we do here. That’s what makes it possible for you to be physical. We don’t have physical bodies here, Mom. Our bodies, for lack of a better word, are made of light and are powered by love. So, anytime you want to be with me, just think of me. You’ll know I’m with you when you feel my love surround you just like you’re feeling it now.

Okay, Mom, I want to show you what was happening in our dimension, immediately after our building collapsed. What you’re going to see is like a rerun of a television program, except you’ll feel a part of everything that’s going on."

All around me are translucent beings. I see thousands of them, no, tens of thousands of them. Everywhere I turn I see more of these beings of light. And colors. Beautiful, shimmering, moving colors, unlike anything I’ve ever seen! There must be some kind of plan here. Each being I watch seems to move about with purpose. It’s almost as if the beings and the colors are working together, but I don’t understand how that could be. Oh, and wait, what’s that? Look at all these other beings! There are thousands of them, and they seem lost or unsure of where they are. Now, the beings of light are surrounding the lost ones with … what feels like … light and love. The fears and confusion of these lost ones is diminishing rapidly, being replaced by love and recognition. It seems the lost ones came to their senses and realized that they were where they were supposed to be. Now I understand … these lost ones are the thousands killed at the World Trade Center towers, at the Pentagon, and in Pennsylvania. Look at the colors! The colors are moving around and among the lost ones. As the colors swirl around a lost one I can see its light getting brighter! This is the most amazing dream! Oh!! There’s Lizzie, there’s my little girl! Oh my darling Lizzie you look so bewildered, so rumpled! Is that … that’s Granny and Great Grandpa moving toward Lizzie. Granny and Great Grandpa are … so beautiful and full of light! Now I see Granny and Great Grandpa sending light, actual light, to Lizzie. This is incredible. This is so wonderful. Lizzie is getting brighter now. She is beginning to look calm and shimmering, just like the beings of light. Does that mean that my Lizzie is becoming a being of light?? All the other lost ones are getting brighter, too. Does that mean that all of the lost ones will become beings of light? Does that mean that when I die, I’ll become a being of light?

"That’s it, Mom! That’s exactly what I wanted to tell you! All of us come back to this beautiful place after a human experience. We return to our original state as beings of light! I wanted you to see this for yourself so you would believe that everything I’m telling you is true.

I have one thing more to share with you, Mom. I know that I was young, 27 years old, when my life ended; but, you and Dad need to understand that my death was not a mistake. You didn’t lose your only daughter for no good reason. The truth is, Mom, that every single person who died in these tragedies had a personal part in a great Plan. Each of us had the choice to play a part in this unparalleled wake-up call to the world. Each of us knew that losing our physical lives in unanticipated acts of terrorism would get the world’s attention. We would rather have played peaceful parts in the wake-up call, but we love humanity and the earth so much, that we were more than willing to play ANY part necessary to bring in light and love. Think about it, Mom. These tragedies have motivated people, cultures, and nations all over the world to place a new premium on love and compassion and true brotherhood. Terrorism and those who perpetrate it, directly or indirectly, have now come to symbolize all that has gone awry in humanity, and the new goal of the world is to stamp them out of existence. The spiritual parallel is obvious. The time has come to stop negativity in its tracks and replace it with love. The time has come to place a higher premium on solving the spiritual problems of humanity and bringing in an age of inspired realism. That’s what my death means, Mom. I wish every person who lost someone to these tragic events could understand what I’ve been able to share with you through this dream. This is real, Mom. This stuff is the truth.

I hope you and Dad can now find the resolution you’ve looked everywhere for since I died. I hope you both remember that anytime you want me near all you have to do is think of me and feel my love surrounding you, bringing us together again. And when you find yourself thinking of me unexpectedly, realize that I have come to be near you, to feel your love surrounding me, bringing us together again.

I love you, Mom. Please share this with Dad, and tell him how much I love him, too. Please share this with anyone who you feel will listen, whose light can grow brighter."

I begin to thrash in the bed, waking my husband. He gently says, “Diane, wake up, you’re having a nightmare.” Finally, I can open my eyes! I’m really awake. “Honey, you won’t believe what I just dreamt. It was Lizzie, talking to me about why she died,” I reply in disbelief, “please let me tell you about it before I forget anything.” “Sure,” he says, “I miss her, too. Tell me what she had to say...."


kt lives in raleigh, writes for pleasure, and is a professional technical writer, who reads voraciously.

more about k. t.


the nature of love
by k. t.
topic: general
published: 12.30.99


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