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our prayer feather holds our intentions
what is your intention?
by emanjah suzanne holetz (@emanjah)

The Great Spirit had answered all my prayers…and this journey with my beloved, Greg, had been a spirit quest to rival the best! I gazed out over the vast grounds that were his folk’s new home. It was lovely here, and the spirits of the land were gentle beings who seemed to float about in an etheric game of hide and seek amongst the spread of peaceful elder trees that were spaced out enough to give each other the space to spread out and canopy the land. It was so hot here, ridiculously so. The very cloud cover Greg had asked me to pray for was there for him this morning. I had not specifically asked for this with intention, but I knew that by virtue of his simple statement of asking, he would be granted it. It was that simple. All our little wishes for this trip had manifested…. every one of them. And every time they did, I would nudge Greg, jumping up and down, clapping my hands saying “See, see honey, the Great Spirit is answering our wishes!” He would tilt his head to the side with a raised eyebrow and a big grin on his face and say as he humbly acquiesced, “yep, I see that!” And all I could do was giggle!

I began my morning prayer…. or rather, allowing first, the spirits within to speak to the spirits of the land. I looked up as the tiny mother sparrow in the nest above my head, looked at me and then dropped down to fly several large figure eights in front of me as if to bless my prayer with the symbol of infinity. I continued to speak my prayer, asking for healing for the land and the children. A bright red male cardinal flew down off to the side of me and landed on the metal railing not more than a few feet away from me. I had never seen a cardinal before coming here, but had always wanted to… spirit in action again! Bobbing his head up and down, side to side, as he looked at me, he seemed to be in agreement with whatever it was that the spirits were offering through me. I smiled brightly as I observed this. Suddenly, just as I had felt my grin grow, not but a second later, the sun suddenly burst through a tiny patch of sky flooding the view with brilliant light, but only for a moment, as long as my grin did last…. the cloud cover seemingly careful to maintain its soft filter of the intense sun.

These voices finished and I paused in my own thoughts for a moment. This was absolutely lovely here, in this moment and I soaked it in, soaking my mind, body and spirit in the beauty that lay before me. The timing was always impeccable if I took the time to notice. I just noticed more these days… and the magic that continued to unfold was extraordinary every time… and just as wonderfully surprising. God knew I loved nice surprises!

I said “That prayer was for them, this one is for me” as I began to speak of my own intentions for this path I had chosen to follow as a medicine woman. I had now been “officially” birthed into this way only a few days earlier on my 50th birthday on the Hopi Reservation when “out of the blue” Grandmama Gladys had given me my second Hopi name. I remembered how her olden gray eyes has sparkled as she looked at me sitting across from her, my head in my hands in awe and resignation that it was all out of my control. I suddenly realized that when I let the moments be out of my control, it was then that my most magical dreams and wishes began to literally flood in. I was surprised every time and I would be struck into awe and wonderment of it all, over and over again.

I held Grandmama in my heart, I held myself as this Hopi namesake and I asked the spirits to witness my intentions, to gather around me at will, with their medicine for me, to help me walk with grace and beauty and always ever so gently upon the Great Mother, for her healing, for the healing of one and all, for this is how it should be. A brown squirrel suddenly hopped out from behind a tree, bouncing up and down in what appeared to be great joy and happiness. Yes, I had every intention of fulfilling my secret prayers and again the voice of my past love, Phil echoed in my head as last I saw him he said “Well, I will say one thing for you, you are a woman who does what she says she is going to do!” Greg had himself echoed this just a couple of days earlier as we settled into our seats on the flight from Albuquerque to San Antonio. “Well, we have done everything we said we wanted to do!” It was true… and what’s more, with interesting surprises all along the way.

My prayer continued as the music of Ronald Roybal, a Native American Flutist, who we had seen play at the only Native American owned hotel in Santa Fe, that we stayed in a few days earlier. He had fulfilled my request for his piece “Spider Woman” for me. This had been significant, even though it appeared as nothing from the outside. Greg knew, and that filled my heart to tears. I was now being witnessed, by the one person I had wanted to see the most. He was seeing and I was thrilled, and so grateful! I placed my heart into my prayer of intention along with these memories and how all the pieces were beginning to be now be seen by others. I had purchased a medicine bag in Santa Fe….. it was filling up nicely! The cicadas played in harmony in waves of percussion that sounded like hundreds of spirit rattles I had seen used by the Kachinas in their dances to call the spirits. I could feel the Kachina spirits all around me now… they too had come to my healing aid and now were taking their turn in teaching me the medicine ways of the Natives of this land. I saw them standing all around me, shaking their own rattles as they silently sung their healing prayers for me. But I could hear them. My left ear would pop loudly but plug up instead of clear…. this was their signal to listen to them…. and suddenly there would be a chorus of Kachina voices singing to the native flute music spilling out of my computer inside the doorway. It all seemed just too perfectly orchestrated. I wondered what the name of the song was that just so coincidentally was playing at that moment. I could not help but impulsively break my prayer and turn around to dash inside for a moment to check on the song title. Just perfect as usual… it was called “Paho” which means “a prayer feather holds our intentions”. Two sterling silver feathers dangled from my ears, and I had not taken them off since I had found them in Madrid (MAD rid) along the Turquoise Trail between Albuquerque and Santa Fe a week ago. I had fallen in love with the small pieces of jewelry I had found along our journey…. nothing big and flashy as most of the large magnificent “squash blossoms” that are so much coveted and sought out. Rather, small simple pieces that seemed to speak volumes of the story of the rare Cerrillos turquoise that was being plundered from the earth at breakneck speak and nearly now depleted. I too became guilty of coveting, but I carried a small piece of the land to help keep in touch with the vibrations of these sacred lands. I did not need much more than a very tiny piece and it was the heart of the intention that counted, and this land vibrated high with the energy of the heart. Was it any wonder that it was considered the Heart of the Universe for the Native Americans and that the physical ground itself was the colors of the heart in soft reds, oranges, sienna and ocher…. this was not difficult to see. All the colors of the turquoise reflected the energies of the earth, plants and sky united and it was lovely to see and feel. Again, my heart had been brought to full. I finished my thoughts and looked down at the insert for the music of Ronald Roybal. “Many thanks!” he had written to me with a signature that reflected the word “Paho”…. and it was perfect as usual… now that I could see, hear and feel!

The door had remained open so that I could remain connected to the events outside as I wrote of these moments. I could feel the warmth from outside creeping in the door, pushing back the constant flow of cool air from the conditioner. It felt lovely as it wrapped itself around my bare legs. A butterfly suddenly flew into the room through the open door, made several circles all around the room, counterclockwise, as one does when one receives or draws from something else, and then flew out again as if to spread my prayer from the inside out. And again, I smiled at the beautiful, simplistic perfection that was this dance of Spirit, playing out before me…. in another blessed day.

God, I love my life!!!


Lori Suzanne Holetz lives in a redwood forest in California with her beloved twin flame, Gregory Barker. She is a Shaman Healer, mother of three, a designer/creator/writer, storyteller and dreamer… and she maintains a private healing practice. She continues to explore many creative endeavors to foster healing for the Earth. She lives by only one rule… Never harm the Great Mother, and never harm any of Her Children!

more about emanjah suzanne holetz


the turquoise earring
signs of destiny and fate in action
by emanjah suzanne holetz
topic: writing
published: 8.11.11

cosmic tumblers
~ an excerpt from "get out of your mind... and into your heart!"
by emanjah suzanne holetz
topic: writing
published: 7.3.10


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