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new therapies in an instant (message)
jenga for the soul
by michael d. driscoll
5.24.06
pop culture

Innctbistdr(12:03:36 AM): yo, homey

NYCBoi (12:03:45 AM): snap

Innctbistdr(12:03:52 AM): big up to brooklyn

NYCBoi (12:03:56 AM): don't be frontin’

Innctbistdr(12:04:09 AM): i'll cap yo ass

NYCBoi (12:04:35 AM): you’ll do what????

Innctbistdr(12:04:48 AM): nevermind – what’r u doing?

NYCBoi (12:05:02 AM): oh i just had this healing ceremony done called a soul retrieval...

Innctbistdr(12:05:35 AM): I don’t know how to respond to that

NYCBoi (12:05:54 AM): it is a shamanic tradition
NYCBoi (12:06:15 AM): where the shaman takes out of you the injured parts and brings back to you lost parts of your soul

Innctbistdr(12:07:07 AM): exactly what parts did you lose?

NYCBoi (12:07:16 AM): 3 parts actually at 3 different ages
NYCBoi (12:07:43 AM): 5...10...22
NYCBoi (12:07:54 AM): courage
NYCBoi (12:07:56 AM): passion
NYCBoi (12:08:00 AM): clarity
NYCBoi (12:08:05 AM): power
NYCBoi (12:08:17 AM): and standing on my own 2 feet

Innctbistdr(12:08:32 AM): I think that’s 5 parts…you’re hemorrhaging! where do they do soul retrieval in nyc?

NYCBoi (12:08:53 AM): at this woman's apartment

Innctbistdr(12:09:11 AM): of course

NYCBoi (12:09:23 AM): i went to her for a massage and she started talking to me about all this energy she was getting from me
NYCBoi (12:09:58 AM): and told me see saw these images of me and my mother!

Innctbistdr(12:10:13 AM): why can’t *I* write this shit?

NYCBoi (12:10:20 AM): and how my mom stole part of my soul

Innctbistdr(12:10:25 AM): like i-got-your-nose stole it???

NYCBoi (12:10:50 AM): of me being a little kid about 5 and seeing my mother cooking and she was a wearing an apron
NYCBoi (12:11:00 AM): ha ha
NYCBoi (12:11:06 AM): and she kept saying I need you to complete me
NYCBoi (12:11:23 AM): and how i was tied up by her apron strings

Innctbistdr(12:12:07 AM): she saw all of this while she was massaging you?

NYCBoi (12:12:13 AM): yes

Innctbistdr(12:12:16 AM): oh please tell me more

NYCBoi (12:12:21 AM): it freaked me out i was cwying

Innctbistdr(12:12:59 AM): how much does it cost to retrieve 3-5 parts of your soul?

NYCBoi (12:13:09 AM): $100
NYCBoi (12:13:23 AM): and remove inhibitors
NYCBoi (12:13:30 AM): take out negative energy
NYCBoi (12:13:40 AM): and retrieve your POWER

Innctbistdr(12:13:46 AM): all of that for the cost of a 4 shirts at H&M

NYCBoi (12:13:55 AM): i don't know it was scary

Innctbistdr(12:14:11 AM): scary? how does it work?

NYCBoi (12:14:24 AM): well all the ritual power
NYCBoi (12:14:26 AM): the singing
NYCBoi (12:14:33 AM): the drumming
NYCBoi (12:14:40 AM): and smoke
NYCBoi (12:14:49 AM): and chanting

Innctbistdr(12:14:50 AM): were you at a club????

NYCBoi (12:15:00 AM): no the upper east side >:)
NYCBoi (12:15:39 AM): well, i gave it a try
NYCBoi (12:15:45 AM): we shall see
NYCBoi (12:15:53 AM): it is very complicated

Innctbistdr(12:16:05 AM): as only a soul retrieval could be i guess
Innctbistdr(12:16:33 AM): jeez…mud baths, hot rock massages, now soul retrievals...what's next?

NYCBoi (12:16:39 AM): did i tell you she found my power animal?

Innctbistdr(12:17:27 AM): it's late...wait..whu?

NYCBoi (12:17:35 AM): everyone has a power animal mine is the DOLPHIN!

Innctbistdr (12:17:41 AM): uhboy...why a dolphin?

NYCBoi (12:17:48 AM): the dolphin is all about the power of breath and emotional release
NYCBoi (12:17:52 AM): they are related

Innctbistdr(12:18:07 AM): i want a power animal too...i wonder what mine is

NYCBoi (12:18:52 AM): dunno, sometimes it's an animal you dream about

Innctbistdr (12:19:20 AM): i dreamed about a lemur once...also a snail

NYCBoi (12:19:23 AM): maybe it's one of those

Innctbistdr (12:19:30 AM): i hope it's not a snail
Innctbistdr (12:19:30 AM): they're like land shrimp

NYCBoi (12:19:56 AM): LOL

Innctbistdr (12:20:10 AM): if i'm going to pay for retrieving parts of my soul
Innctbistdr (12:20:20 AM): with a side of power animal...it should be a good animal and not a garden slug

NYCBoi (12:20:27 AM): ok...no snail power animals for you

Innctbistdr (12:20:32 AM): and i'm not fond of the lemur thing either
Innctbistdr (12:20:36 AM): they pee in their own mouths

NYCBoi (12:20:49 AM): well ok then and no lemurs gotcha

Innctbistdr (12:20:50 AM): i can't believe it only cost $100...seems like a major discount if it works
Innctbistdr (12:20:00 AM): it's cheaper than a 90 minute massage!!

NYCBoi (12:21:15 AM): i could have paid more

Innctbistdr (12:21:05 AM): i'm in the wrong business
Innctbistdr (12:21:17 AM): you know i love you, but i can't wrap my brain around this one
Innctbistdr (12:22:00 AM): i find it hard to believe we even have a soul let alone one that is fragmented like some cosmic jenga game where you can take out pieces and put them back in

NYCBoi (12:22:30 AM): that's fine you don't have to understand it

Innctbistdr (12:22:56 AM): but i want to...i just don't have the faith you have in things like this

NYCBoi (12:23:13 AM): but you have faith that when you get a massage you'll be more relaxed afterwards

Innctbistdr (12:23:52 AM): yes but i can literally feel my muscles relax when she's done

NYCBoi (12:23:57 AM): ok then i had a spiritual massage and could literally feel my spirit heal when SHE was done
NYCBoi (12:24:10 AM): sure it sounds weird but you have to enter into it open minded

Innctbistdr (12:24:28 AM): right now...i need to enter my bed with an open mind
Innctbistdr (12:24:33 AM): get some rest

NYCBoi (12:25:03 AM): deal

Innctbistdr (12:25:27 AM): good night, soul jenga ;)


ABOUT MICHAEL D. DRISCOLL

Curious about everything, Michael plans to do it all. A ruffian by day and a lover by night he's managed to go where no one else has gone. His slight forgetfulness means he is curious about everything and plans to do it all. A ruffian by day and a lover by night he's managed...

more about michael d. driscoll

IF YOU LIKED THIS COLUMN...

10 things i don’t understand
in the asking we find the answer
by michael d. driscoll
topic: pop culture
published: 2.19.07


borrowed words at a funeral
remembering a life
by michael d. driscoll
topic: pop culture
published: 6.23.06





COMMENTS

robert melos
5.24.06 @ 3:35a

I personally don't go for massage--never liked them, but I do go for the spirituality. BTW, my power animal is a bat. Although, your power animal can change depending upon your spiritual needs at that time in your life.

I can accept a lot of this. Have you ever had that feeling that everything is right, or as it should be? A sense of complete peace with the universe?

tracey kelley
5.24.06 @ 8:19a

Mike, this is hysterical.

michael driscoll
5.24.06 @ 9:22a

Thanks Tracey! So sweet.

And Robert, I don't know what it's like to be at peace with the universe, but it sounds WONDERFUL.

robert melos
5.25.06 @ 3:38a

Inner peace is peaceful, and does give you a sense empowerment. You should really try it sometime.

Honestly, the whole feeling of everything being as it should is a peaceful feeling, but it doesn't mean everything that is right will make you happy.

My life is very much as it should be in the overall tapestry of the universe, but that doesn't mean I'm happy with the way things are; only accepting of things as they are. The metaphysical gives me comfort, but as eluded to in your column faith is the answer.

sandra thompson
5.29.06 @ 10:23a

Sorry to be so late with this response but I'm way behind reading email, and, thus, getting here to read stuff. Christopher Locke is debunking a whole lot of "new age" BS. As a decidedly unspiritual, anti-religious fanatic, I can't quite wrap my alleged mind around any of this either, but it was very funny and enjoyable.



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