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lunatic fringe
crazy is as crazy says
by robert a. melos
8.24.05
pop culture

It was bound to happen. Christianity has been far too complacent for far too long, what with the whole ignoring the Muslim extremist jihads against America and freedom, and against the rights of human beings to exist as they will without bending to the will of Allah or Mohammed, and not taking a stance against pedophile priests preying on altar boys while picking the pockets of parishioners in the name of God, the time for a new voice of reason was long overdue. It still is, but for now Christian Americans have Pat Robertson, the apparently not so mild mannered host of the somewhat fanatical religion television program The 700 Club, to protect and lead them in a crusade to support ignorance and bigotry in modern times.

Today’s attack on those who oppose Robertson’s Christian values is aimed at Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, a somewhat dictatorial figure much like most banana republic dictators depicted in bad 1940s films or 1990s novels (Cool Mint Blue) set in South American ports of call. Robertson is quoted as having said, “You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war.”

Robertson went on to claim, “We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.”

This is not the first time Robertson has shown his radical right leanings. Back in October of 2003 Robertson suggested “nuking” the State Department. Now of course this was obviously an over the top statement because Robertson broadcasts his 700 Club televangelist program from Virginia Beach, not all that far from the State Department. It’s just too close to home and we all know the “don’t shit in your own backyard” rule. Robertson wasn’t going to use his own precious supply of WMDs (you just know they are hidden below the sands where people gather to watch peaceful dolphins frolic in the surf) on blowing up the State Department when it could potentially take out his own base of operation.

His suggestion of whacking Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez makes one wonder, what happened to those threats of nuclear obliteration of the State Department from 2003? Has Robertson gotten soft, or has his personal supply of nuclear weapons disappeared? And if his personal supply of nuclear weapons has disappeared, where did it go?

More to the immediate point, since we know Robertson isn’t nutcase enough to blow up the State Department because it is on American soil, does Robertson have personal operatives able to carry out his assassination “suggestion” of Hugo Chavez, or is he asking to borrow American military personnel to do his dirty work?

What I’m asking Robertson to do here is put up or shut up. If he wants to blow up a branch of government then let him do it. If he wants to have a foreign dignitary assassinated, let him do it. Don’t ask someone else to do your dirty work, Pat Robertson. Get off you quasi political/religious ass and haul your own nuclear weapon over to Foggy Bottom. Get your own God Squad flunkies to infiltrate the offices of the aforementioned foreign dignitary and put your own hit on him.

I don’t know what world Robertson lives in, but obviously he hasn’t watched enough of The Sopranos to learn the proper way of whacking your enemy.

Truthfully I’m more disappointed in the statements out of the White House “disavowing” Robertson’s comments. I really don’t get the concept of disavowing anything. What I know of disavowing comes from Mission Impossible, where the secretary would disavow any knowledge of Jim Phelps actions should any of his IMF team be caught or killed. To me disavowing only works when no one knows of the potential actions before hand, and in this case the whole freakin’ country knows what Robertson proposes.

Robertson is losing his credibility with the lunatic fringe elements of both the right and left because he offers up solutions and never acts upon them. Come on Pat! If you’re going to be a crazy anarchist for Christ then get some balls and carry out your “suggestions.”

Not to be outdone by the fanatical Robertson, the much beloved Fuhrer, er, President of the United States George W. Bush made his own claim through White House spokesman Trent Duffy that, “those who want the U.S. to begin to change course in Iraq do not want America to win the overall ‘war on terror.’”

Duffy went on to say, “that Bush “can understand that people don't share his view that we must win the war on terror, and we cannot retreat and cut and run from terrorists, but he just has a different view. He believes it would be a fundamental mistake right now for us to cut and run in the face of terrorism, because if we've learned anything, especially from the 9/11 Commission Report, it is that to continue to retreat after the Cole, after Beirut and Somalia is to only empower terrorists and to give them more recruiting tools as they try to identify ways to harm Americans.

"So he believes that people have a fundamental right to express their views. That's one of the reasons we're fighting this war on terrorism, to protect our fundamental rights. But at the same time, he disagrees strongly."

One of the people George W. Bush disagrees with is Cindy Sheehan, a mother whose son was killed in the Iraq War. Sheehan is of the opinion that America should retreat from Iraq and the Middle East, and end the war.

Of Sheehan Bush said in a press conference earlier this week, “I strongly support her right to protest. There's a lot of people protesting, and there's a lot of points of view about the Iraq war. As you know, in Crawford last weekend there were people from both sides of the issue, or from all sides of the issue there to express their opinions.

“I sent Deputy Chief of Staff Hagin and National Security Advisor Hadley to meet with Ms. Sheehan early on. She expressed her opinion. I disagree with it. I think immediate withdrawal from Iraq would be a mistake. I think those who advocate immediate withdrawal from not only Iraq but the Middle East would be -- are advocating a policy that would weaken the United States. So I appreciate her right to protest. I understand her anguish. I met with a lot of families. She doesn't represent the view of a lot of the families I have met with. And I'll continue to meet with families.”

In contrast to my call to Robertson to put up or shut up, I would call upon George W. Bush to simply shut up. I oppose his viewpoint or everything. There is nothing he says that I have found myself to be in agreement. I’d like for Bush to shut up, and shut his sock puppet spokespeople up as well.

Meanwhile Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, in a press briefing, said of detractors of the Iraq War, “Throughout history there have always been those who predict America’s failure just around every corner. At the height of World War II, a prominent U.S. diplomat predicted that democracy was finished in Britain, and probably in America, too. Many Western intellectuals praised Stalin during that period.”

Rumsfeld is the most frightening of all the current lunatic fringe. Aside from the fact I believe he commands an army of flying monkeys who routinely transport him to Washington D.C. from his secret island in the South Pacific where he resides in his Fortress of Doom, he just seems to be the one loose cannon among these nut jobs who would go off and blow something up, or gun someone down if given the chance.

Sure that’s just my personal opinion of the man, and sure I’m part of the lunatic fringe of the far left, but I’m not calling for the assassination of anyone or the nuking of any particular branch of government, or comparing peaceniks to Stalinists, or using the memories of the victims of 9/11 and the more recent deaths of military personnel in a war for political gain.

Meanwhile the price of gasoline has hit $2.49 locally, and is higher in other parts of the country. I’m sorry anyone had to die in Iraq for what I consider to be an unjust war, and I’m even sorrier President Bush didn’t go after the member of the Egyptian royal family, Osama Bin Laden, who started this all with the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, in a timely or successful fashion after the attacks of 9/11, but that is just my opinion.

So instead of a world inching toward a unification of the human race as peace loving beings respectful of all life and the diversity of that life, we live in a world of anarchists, extremists, and pundits. Oh my.

References:
Robertson called for the assassination of Venezuela's president

Bush Believes Those Who Protest Iraq War Don't Want U.S. to Win 'War on Terror,' Spokesman Says

Rumsfeld Compares Iraq Critics To Communists, Stalinists

Pat Robertson's 'nuke' idea draws protest


ABOUT ROBERT A. MELOS

Robert is the author of the novels Cool Mint Blue, Melba Ridge, and the recently released The Adventures of Homosexual Man and Lesbian Lad; and the creator of the on-line comix Impure Thoughts found at his web site Inside R.A. Melos, as well as having been an on-line staff writer for QBliss where he had a monthly humor column, Maybe A Yip, Maybe A Yap. In his non-writing time, when he's not studying the metaphysical or creating a tarot deck, he sells real estate in Middlesex County New Jersey, hangs out with his dog Zeus, and spends time at the Pride Center of New Jersey in Highland Park, NJ, where he is on the Board of Trustees.

more about robert a. melos

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COMMENTS

tracey kelley
8.24.05 @ 2:05p

Wasn't it Robertson who was praying for Supreme Court appointments, too?

He's really apey.

robert melos
8.25.05 @ 12:13a

I think both Robertson and Falwell prayed for Supreme Court appointments, so we don't know which one God answered.

tracey kelley
8.31.05 @ 4:33p

I CANNOT believe his lame-ass retraction!

"Um, yeah, well, I mean, I didn't really say 'assissinate'...."

Define IS, Robertson!

robert melos
8.31.05 @ 4:44p

I just loved Kieth Obermann's Countdown playing the tape of him saying "assassination" followed by the tape of his denial.

If you're going to lie, don't do it on videotape.



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