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the world ends on thursday
by robert a. melos

I had a dream. While my dream did not impart to me a specific Thursday, it seems one of these Thursdays the world is going to come to an end. Now for some who get paid on Fridays, this news obviously sucks. On the bright side, you might consider telling off your boss on Wednesday before leaving work, and possibly calling in sick on Thursday.

Of course, as I’ve stated, I’m not sure of the actual date of the end of the world, but I know it is on a Thursday. So if you plan on reducing your boss to the pile of crumbed toast you imagine him to be in your mind, you might want to wait until some other signs of the coming apocalypse surface. After all, being without work until the actual end of the world might put a crimp in your life style, if my Thursday prediction happens to be a distant future Thursday instead of this coming Thursday.

While this information may not seem relevant to you, without those other apocalyptic signs for conformation, consider how much more prepared you will be if you heed my warnings and at least mentally prepare for Armageddon? I mean, accepting the fact the world is going to end and simply getting on about your business seems to be the way I would choose to handle this information. Of course I’m not you, and therefore my way isn’t always right for each individual.

As for the details of the impending future Thursday deadline, I have very little information. I’m not sure whether George W. Bush is responsible for the end of the world or not. While I like to think he is responsible for everything bad that has happened since his term of office began, I can’t in good conscience blame him for the end of the world. Maybe Dick Cheney deserves the blame?

Oh I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, why not simply blame the entire Republican Party? Well, that would be the easy thing to do, but some of them may not be to blame. Some of them may outwardly claim to be Republican, while actually voting as closet Democrats. I wouldn’t want to blame someone for the end of the world just because they are labeled as one thing or another. It just wouldn’t be fair.

So instead of blaming George W. Bush, even though as long as he’s in office I’m secretly sure if the world ends at all, on a Thursday or not, he will somehow be responsible for the event, I won’t place blame. Instead I think we have to look beyond the end of the world toward the future.

Now I know the end of the world sounds so final, but any ending is only a new beginning. So if the world does end on Thursday, any Thursday, Friday will be the new beginning. Yes, some of you will have a great deal of difficulty looking at Friday as a beginning when society conditions us to think of Friday as the end of the week, but it can also be seen as the beginning of the weekend. Thus, Friday is already a beginning of sorts, and we just have to get past that ending feeling in our minds and move on to Friday being a real beginning.

The question is what kind of beginning do we want Friday to be? I mean, if the world really does undergo Ragnarok on an upcoming Thursday, wiping the slate clean, where will we take Friday?

Given the chance to begin again, to start over without the anger, hate, bigotry, divisiveness of our current world order, will we go in an all-inclusive direction of acceptance and understanding and tolerance, or will we just recreate what was just destroyed?

I would suggest we practice it this coming Friday. Treat this Friday as the beginning of a whole new way of life. Think of this coming Thursday as the end of the world as we know it. The line has been drawn, and the decision is yours. Will you start Friday on a positive note, or will you go on as you have in the past?

Change is a good thing, especially when it corrects for past indiscretions such as hate, anger, bigotry or religious intolerance that leads to divisiveness based on sexual orientation or race. Think of this coming Friday as a Good Friday. Not “Good” in the religious sense of “Good Friday”, but “Good” in the sense that by choosing to be peace loving and inclusive, accepting and tolerant of all others we are taking a step toward a real new beginning.

Of course this will just be a practice run for when that Thursday end-of-the-world-day does happen unless of course, the world really does end this Thursday.


Robert is the author of the novels Cool Mint Blue, Melba Ridge, and the recently released The Adventures of Homosexual Man and Lesbian Lad; and the creator of the on-line comix Impure Thoughts found at his web site Inside R.A. Melos, as well as having been an on-line staff writer for QBliss where he had a monthly humor column, Maybe A Yip, Maybe A Yap. In his non-writing time, when he's not studying the metaphysical or creating a tarot deck, he sells real estate in Middlesex County New Jersey, hangs out with his dog Zeus, and spends time at the Pride Center of New Jersey in Highland Park, NJ, where he is on the Board of Trustees.

more about robert a. melos


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tim lockwood
2.19.04 @ 3:41a

The bad news is, the world will actually end on a Wednesday, at about 7:55 pm Central Time, just before Ryan Seacrest announces who was voted to go through to the next round on "American Idol". And when we get to the afterlife and sort out how it all happened, we'll find out it was all a giant suspense-building publicity stunt by Fox and the show's producers.

The good news is that the newest Fox reality series, "Who Wants To Become A Millionaire By Alienating Everyone Who Cares About You?" will be indefinitely postponed. Starting over should be a snap at that point.

adam kraemer
2.19.04 @ 11:08a

Actually, we still have about 8.5 years.

erik myers
2.19.04 @ 11:32a

So.. August of 2012?

I hope it's before my mom's birthday, then I won't have to worry about forgetting to send a card.

adam kraemer
2.19.04 @ 12:09p

Well, December 2012. I guess more like 8.75 years.

erik myers
2.19.04 @ 3:08p

Why then?

nor mal
2.19.04 @ 4:31p

Might be because the Mayans only have enough dumb jokes left to go through Dec. 21st, 2012. And there's really no point in living without a Mayan dumb-joke-a-day calendar, anyway. What would I give mom for Christmas?

adam kraemer
2.19.04 @ 4:49p

That's pretty much why I'm predicting it. Besides, it's win/win for me. If I'm right, I get to be right. And if I'm wrong, I get to live.

robert melos
2.19.04 @ 11:59p

Adam, I never said everyone dies at the end of the world. Someone's got to live to start it all over. Check your lottery ticket and see if you're a Survivor.

Also, since it's almost midnight on Thursday, I'm guessing it wasn't this Thursday. Oh well. Another week before we find out if it was next Thursday.

nor mal
2.20.04 @ 11:37p

Actually, we (earthlings) had a near-miss at a lesser extinction, in March of 1989. It was a .5 km asteroid (1989 FC) that missed us by just a few hours. (they never saw it coming) Of course, that's only a small one ... probably not much more cataclysmic (environmentally speaking) than a global nuclear war. It was similar to the more recent, 2001 YB5, 2002 EM7 and 2002 MN, only larger, and a little closer.
Takes about 10 km to have to start all over from, like, microbes or something. Sorta like the one that hit off the Yucatan Peninsula when all the dinosaurs conveniently went missing. They call that period the K-T Boundary. Booooring ...so I think we should come up with a cooler sounding boundary for the next one ... like maybe the gee-whiz-we-got-a-cometary-fragment-busted-in-our-dum-ass Boundary ...you know, something that sings. But don't worry, one of the smaller (possibly 90%?) of NEOs (near earth objects) that have yet to be identified, will most likely have us eating our neighbor's dogs (if our neighbors don't eat us first) long before we need a cool boundary name ... like maybe the too-bad-we-couldn't-spare-any-war-money-ta-ta-too-bad Boundary.
I think NASA still gets about 3.5 million/year for "Spacewatch" (not sure).
At any rate, it's still not as much as the (how many hundreds of billions?) we're spending on Georgie-Goes-Jihad ... right?

WD-40 ... over and out.

Last minute update:
Just saw the new headline: Object, half the size of Pluto, found in out solar system.
... right under: Driver nabbed while watching porno.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa .... we're all going to die.

robert melos
2.21.04 @ 12:25a

Nor Mal, my money is on man destroying himself before an outside object comes along and wipes us off the face of the planet. I'll give you two to one on it, but if I'm wrong I don't think I'll be around to pay up. I guess it's a suckers bet either way.

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