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the bush war
a song parody
by robert a. melos
10.1.03
humor

Dear readers, I know song parodies don't work well within this format, but you'll get the drift.

With apologies to Kander and Ebb, and fans of Chicago the musical, and the city, I have ventured into Parodyland. Alas, if you are unfamiliar with the song “All That Jazz” from the Kander and Ebb musical Chicago I’m afraid you may be lost. However, just know that in my mind I was picturing George W. Bush wearing a beaded flapper style dress and heels as he performed this little ditty for Congress. That image alone should make you chuckle.



C’mon guys
Why don’t we start a war?
In old Bagh—dad!

I’m gonna make demands
And push the UN around
In old Bagh—dad!

Let’s start a war
I know the perfect spot
We’ll make Saddam’s blood run cold
But the desert’ll be hot.

It’s an oil rich country
We’ll impose a Marshall Law
In old Bagh—dad!

Join up now
And get yer GI Blues
In old Bagh—dad!

I hear that Jacques Chirac
Is gonna blow a fuse
In old Bagh—dad!

Hold on Dad
I’ve only just begun
I swear I get Saddam
I already got his sons

Your second term dreams fell apart
But now I’m your brand new start
To get Sad—dam!

Forget the truth
We’re playing fast and loose
In old Bagh—dad!

We couldn’t find
Osama Bin Lad--en
In old Bagh—dad!

Come on Congress
It’s time for restoration
I’ll bet the national debt
Has never been so high!

‘cause with me in charge
The whole world better fear
G—W—Bush!

Oh, you’re gonna see Egypt
Shimmy shake
Because of my war!

Oh, they’re gonna shimmy till their burnooses
break
Because of my war!

I’ll show ‘em America ain’t no turtle
Sure the UN is a minor hurdle
But if you’re queer
there’ll be no marriage here
In the U—S—A!

No, I won’t stand for economic strife
Because I love my political life
And I—love—war!

The Bush War!
Hot-cha!


ABOUT ROBERT A. MELOS

Robert is the author of the novels Cool Mint Blue, Melba Ridge, and the recently released The Adventures of Homosexual Man and Lesbian Lad; and the creator of the on-line comix Impure Thoughts found at his web site Inside R.A. Melos, as well as having been an on-line staff writer for QBliss where he had a monthly humor column, Maybe A Yip, Maybe A Yap. In his non-writing time, when he's not studying the metaphysical or creating a tarot deck, he sells real estate in Middlesex County New Jersey, hangs out with his dog Zeus, and spends time at the Pride Center of New Jersey in Highland Park, NJ, where he is on the Board of Trustees.

more about robert a. melos

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COMMENTS

alicia white
10.2.03 @ 11:30p

how long did this take to write?

robert melos
10.3.03 @ 12:36a

It was spurred from the line "find a flask, we're playing fast and loose." Most of my columns, poems, novels, etc., brew around in my mind for several days, to several years in the case of novels, before hitting paper/computer screen. This was bouncing around, getting changed and revamped a few times over a couple weeks time.

My best work, the stuff that is the funniest, usually takes an hour or two to toss together. Of course that's just me. I know some guys that do parody work who suffer for months for just the right turn of phrase. Everyone is different.

[edited]



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